inspired.

yesterday was the most creative day i've had in a long time. i got some great home decor items from the thrift store and i have some pretty cute plans in store.

let's just hope they come out as cute as they are in my head.

cleaning up my act.

tomorrow will be my first official day of summer break. i'm so excited i can't stand it. and not just because the semester is over and i have time to relax, but because i have time to make some important improvements in my life.

this week is going to be about cleaning up. i'm going to clean out my desk, organize all my school and clinic materials that swallowed our apartment, and scrub every appliance and surface we have 'till our entire home sparkles like a cartoon.

i'm also going to be cleaning up what i eat. i've been interested in eating healthier for a while, and with summer here it seems like the perfect time. i read a book about what's called "eating clean" and i'm really excited to get started with it. the general principle is very simple- eat natural things because they are better for you. duh. i'm not going 100% clean right away for a couple reasons- 1. i cannot find "clean" approved english muffins. and i like those and 2. i really want to use what i can of what's already in the kitchen before i rush out and buy more food. for now my goal is to eat get about 70-80% of my daily calories from clean foods (fruits, veggies, nut, lentils/legume, whole grains, lean protein).

i know i have a lot of really unhealthy eating habits and i know it impacts my energy levels, my emotions, even my skin complexion in addition to my weight. plus, i'm just thrilled at the thought of spending the summer by the pool noshing on peach slices and cucumber salads! yum!

peanut butter.

for the first two years of our marriage, hubby and i kept creamy peanut butter stocked in the house. i don't know who bought that first jar of creamy. we never talked about it. we never talked about the peanut butter at all except to let the next one to the grocery store know we were out.

one day, hubby goes to make a pb&j and he looks over his shoulder at me and says oh-so-matter-of-factly, 'i wish you liked chunky. i miss it.'

to which i flabbergastedly, and quickly, replied 'what are you talking about? i've only been buying the creamy for you. i love chunky. chunkier the better.'

lesson learned: you always must communicate because even the littlest things shouldn't be assumed. also learned: hubby and i are even more compatible now than when we first got married. how sweet.

finals.

finals are slowly killing me. i am exhausted, nervous, and full-brained. when did cumulative finals become so popular?

the only tidbit getting me through any of this (besides the two to three lattes a day) is the knowledge that in twelve short months, i will be done with school and out in the real world making a difference in people's lives and helping those who really need it.

this morning i took a study break/forgot to ask for the weekend off and manned my work's booth at the special olympics. at first, i was annoyed at getting up early and loosing five study hours. but it was so inspiring- not only the athletes who have worked so hard to succeed in their chosen sports, but the family members who dedicate so much time, energy and love to get them there. i'm really glad i was able to experience that. i can't wait to be part of that team to help people reach their dreams. it makes the study hours a lot more bearable and meaningful.

which is good because i've already read two hundred more pages than i thought i could, and i have even more to go.

bangs rule.

the single greatest hair decision i ever made was cutting me some bangs. they are amazing, and here's why.

1. forehead breakouts are no match for me! as a grad student, i get stressed. stress causes break outs. and my forehead usually takes the brunt of the attack. who cares cause you cant see it anyway.

2. building off point one, i save make up time when i need to. so, im running late and i dont have time torub some foundation on my forehead. nobody cares.

3.saves time on hair- no matter how giant of a poof i ball the rest of my hair into, if i straighten out my bangs, it looks like im rocking an actual hair style. this works super well when i have to look professional in the clinic, but forgot to wash my hair.

4. perfect style for vintage fashions. perfect style for causal fashions. perfect style for business fashions. perfect for when i'm going rocker chic; girlie-girl, teacherly, sweet or spunky. the list goes on. i never really have to worry about 'how to wear my hair' with an outfit  'cause the bangs do most of the work.

5. eyebrow tweezing is a thing of the past. which is sad, but if i need to buy an extra ten sleeping minutes during finals, i'm going to cut every corner i can.

6. i basically want to be zooey deschanel. this is a start.

greek.

last week was spring break for me. hubby took time off from work so we could spend time together. we ended up adding this show "greek" to our netflix cue and watched all seventy four episodes in a week. it was a lot of fun.

the show was okay. a bit cheesy and predictable. and it made me want to gag sometimes when the most serious drama was who became president of their sorority or the fact that the fact one girl rigged judging on a talent show was considered on the same level as someone else burning her house down. but it was lighthearted, for the most part, and entertaining.

and then it was over and i bawled my eyes out. not because the show was over, but because it struck so many cords in me that i didn't even know i had.

i didn't get to have the normal college experience on any level. i went there to be close to hubby, so i wasn't sure if it was really the right school for me. paying for it was a burden so i had to work almost full time to make it through. i did the whole roommate thing freshman year but none of us had anything in common so i ended up going home to see my mom a lot on weekends and then got married sophomore year. i picked a difficult major that left no time to form any good friendships, with the exception of one, but i didn't meet emily until our last few semesters. it was a commuter school so it was really difficult to find ways to get involved. so i graduated early and didn't look back.

now i go to another commuter school. in the same hard major made more difficult by the fact that it's graduate level. and it's two hours away from my house so even if there was time to hang out, there wouldn't be time to commute. plus, that's a lot of gas.

i wish i could go back. i wish it could be different. i wish i had a more well rounded college experience. but i can't.

what i can do is learn from it. and from spending three hours crying my eyes out last night, i learned that i want to live in the present as much as i can. i've spent my whole life working towards the next thing that i keep missing the things i already have. and some of them i can never have again.

this is my last year of graduate school. senior year 2.0, if you will. and i want to make it count. i want to have a good time. make new friends. maybe join a club (that meets on a day i already have class because seriously, who would drive two hours for a club?) i want to have a college experience i can look back on with pride and nostalgia. not just think of it as those six years between high school and a career.

and i've learned to watch out for corny tv shows about characters in my own age demographic. i should watch at my own risk.

last night.

last night, hubby and i played hide-and-go-seek with our two kitties for an hour. and our kitties won every round. sometimes, i just really love my life.