greek.

last week was spring break for me. hubby took time off from work so we could spend time together. we ended up adding this show "greek" to our netflix cue and watched all seventy four episodes in a week. it was a lot of fun.

the show was okay. a bit cheesy and predictable. and it made me want to gag sometimes when the most serious drama was who became president of their sorority or the fact that the fact one girl rigged judging on a talent show was considered on the same level as someone else burning her house down. but it was lighthearted, for the most part, and entertaining.

and then it was over and i bawled my eyes out. not because the show was over, but because it struck so many cords in me that i didn't even know i had.

i didn't get to have the normal college experience on any level. i went there to be close to hubby, so i wasn't sure if it was really the right school for me. paying for it was a burden so i had to work almost full time to make it through. i did the whole roommate thing freshman year but none of us had anything in common so i ended up going home to see my mom a lot on weekends and then got married sophomore year. i picked a difficult major that left no time to form any good friendships, with the exception of one, but i didn't meet emily until our last few semesters. it was a commuter school so it was really difficult to find ways to get involved. so i graduated early and didn't look back.

now i go to another commuter school. in the same hard major made more difficult by the fact that it's graduate level. and it's two hours away from my house so even if there was time to hang out, there wouldn't be time to commute. plus, that's a lot of gas.

i wish i could go back. i wish it could be different. i wish i had a more well rounded college experience. but i can't.

what i can do is learn from it. and from spending three hours crying my eyes out last night, i learned that i want to live in the present as much as i can. i've spent my whole life working towards the next thing that i keep missing the things i already have. and some of them i can never have again.

this is my last year of graduate school. senior year 2.0, if you will. and i want to make it count. i want to have a good time. make new friends. maybe join a club (that meets on a day i already have class because seriously, who would drive two hours for a club?) i want to have a college experience i can look back on with pride and nostalgia. not just think of it as those six years between high school and a career.

and i've learned to watch out for corny tv shows about characters in my own age demographic. i should watch at my own risk.