day fourteen.

day fourteen- post a picture of your family

i don't have just one picture that encompasses my whole family. so prepare for a photo overload.

 

 the family i was born into, the family i picked, and the furry family we adopted. <3

half way.

the semester if halfway over this week. yay. guess what else is half over? my stint in graduate school. two and half semesters down, two and half more to go. although, in all fairness- the first two and a half were waaaaay worse than the last two and half are going to be.

after this semester, i only have one academic class left. everything else is clinical hours and a giant exam. and i'm getting pretty antsy. i explained to hubby that this entire semester makes me feel like a kid on december 20th.

when hubby and i were first engaged, i couldn't sleep for a week. i thought i would spend the entire engagement awake because i was so filled with anticipation, sleep was impossible. that's exactly how i feel  right now. every time i wake up, i'm one day closer to finishing this journey and starting a new one that i've been looking forward to for so long.

now i just have to make sure it lives up to the hype.

day thirteen.

i'm super behind on this so i may do two today. i kinda suck at this.

day 13- your 5 favorite books and why
1. Please Kill Me- this book is the history of the punk movement. growing up, my parents taught me how to really appreciate bands and how a musician's life impacts the music he or she makes. it made me feel like i was part of the scene that i've always loved.
2. Portable Dorothy Parker- she's just so witty and cool. it's short stories and poems by her so it's easy to read one or two between classes. im reading it for the second time now.
3. Pride and Prejudice- jane austen will probable always be my favorite author. this book is so romantic and compelling and satirical and empowering and beautifully written. i believe i've read it six times. (seven if you count number 4)
4. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies- epic. it's jane austen's masterpiece. but phrases like "find a husband" have been replaced with "hunt a zombie." it combines two of my favorite things- favorite book and favorite paranormal monster. win.
5. The CDS Student Survival Guide- if anyone happens upon this blog because they googled "speech pathology grad student + crazy life + how the heck do i get through this", today is your lucky day. buy this book. it's published by the student chapter of the national organization (NSSLHA). i bought it when i was just at my wits end with school. i was crying daily because i constantly felt overwhelmed and like i was failing. i honest thought i was going to flunk out last summer (never mind the 4.0 on my transcript that should have indicated otherwise- i was freaked). this book has tips for getting through tough clinic cases, time management, step by step directions for what you should be doing each semester as you get closer to comps and looking for a job. and, best of all, reminds us that we aren't alone. hundreds of other people are in the exact same spot we're in. and if they can do it, we certainly can.

day twelve

day 12- write a poem to someone you love


harley barley pudding pie
you are the apple of your mamma's eye.
she needed a friend cause she was feeling blue
lucky she went to the shelter and found you.
when she is sad or feels like crying
you perk her right up, without even trying.
she loves when you sleep on her pillow at night
and lick her hand and her face and her feet, alright!
you're mamma's little buddy from here on out
and she's not too sure how she ever did without!

yes, i wrote a poem to my cat. no, i don't care how wierd/creepy/cat-ladyish that is.

hubby and i got our first cat in 2008. she is a beautiful, fluffy, all-black cat we got from to oc animal shelter. and she loves hubby. i mean, she likes me too. but he is HER human. she'll barely let me pet her but he holds her for hours and she just purrs and purrs.

well, towards the end of last summer, i was in a pretty bad place. i was about ready to quit school because my clinic supervisor was running me to the ground and i honestly thought i was going to flunk out anyway. i was jealous of all of my high school friends starting their careers while i still had another degree to get through. my cousin was pregnant, and all i've wanted for the last two years was to be able to have a baby (although we are purposefully waiting until i'm done with school, i cannot wait to be a mommy). hubby got an awesome promotion and my commute became permamnent. our house was messy and ugly and i just felt like crawling in a cave in the fetal position and waiting for death.

and then one day- july 25, 2010- i just felt it in my heart to go to the animal shelter where we got our first cat. we hadn't really discussed getting another cat, but i just knew i needed to go. i did, and they were closed. so i went back as soon as they opened the next day. while all the kittens were adorable, none of them seemed right for me. i was about ready to go home when i noticed another room of kittens. half the room was empty. there were only about four kittens inside. and there, at the very end of the row, in the very top cage, was this tiny white kitten with a black mask. as soon as we made eye contact, she rolled over and started purring. i put my hand in. she placed her paw on my hand and started licking it. the volunteer said she wouldn't be ready for adoption until the next morning. i stayed with her for an hour without even being able to take her out of the cage.

the next morning, i went back again, with hubby. he fell in love, too and we adopted her. and now, i am HER human. she sleeps on my pillow, hangs out in the kitchen when i cook, lays next to me on the couch, and sits in my lap when i'm on the computer.

i do still get frustrated trying to get through school and watching everyone around me (seemlingly) surpase me in life, but i can do nothing but smile when that kitten is lying by me on the couch, on her back, with her head in my lap. i still get a little teary sometimes when i think about how thankful i am that God put it in my heart to go to the pound that day and find her- my little kitten soulmate.

don't even pretend like you don't love her, too.

camera love.

fact- i love polaroids. who doesn't?
fact- i was devastated when i found my mom's old camera in the garage only to discover the film was no longer being made and cost an arm and a leg.
fact- i found out about the instax mini/polaroid 300 cameras and felt a glimmer of hope in a meaningless world.
fact- i decided the hundred buck price tag was a tad too rich for my blood. when you consider the price of film and all the jazz, it just seemed out of reach for a while.
fact- goodwill has a website where you can shop online, ebay style.
fact- some loser totally donated their polaroid 300 camera! sucka!
fact- it is an amatuer mistake to make your max bid end in a 0.00- i.e. 20.00, 30.00 etc.
fact- i won the puppy with a bid of 21.00.
fact- camera arrived today.
fact- with a giant smile and butterflies in my tummy, i drove as fast as i could to target to get film to see if the camera works.
fact- the camera works.
fact- i am in love with it! already preparing a wall to be dedicated to my instant pics!!

that is cat hair as the camera is resting on a kitty condo. not human hair- i'm not a disgusting pig person.

day eleven.

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

this will be short and sweet: have babies, bye a house and make it adorable, work in a skilled nursing home and wear vintage dresses to work daily, go to europe, see the pyramids, take a road trip across the us, and possibly- many, many moons from now- earn a ph.d. i'm not a very adventurous person and have no desire to leap off things, jump into anything with a riptide or climb anything higher than the ladder to the top of the ferris wheel at the county fair.

i do, however, constantly think about what the wizard tells the tin man at the end of the wizard of oz: "a heart is not judged by by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others." at the end of my road, i just want to know in my heart i did all i could to bring love into the world and that i shared it with everyone around me.

http://ideologystop.net/Wizard_of_Oz_2.htm

i'd maybe also want to punch a shark. just for the cool story. and i'd get mad respect from my future kids and grandkids.

day ten.

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

i've kinda been avoiding this post on purpose. thing is, if i'm honest it's gonna sound like a cop out.


 basically, i listen to all my favorite music all the time. if i'm happy, i like my favorite music. if i'm sad, i listen to my favorite tunes to perk me up. if i'm bored, i like my favorite music and also dancing to it or trying to figure out how to play it on the bass. if i'm hyped, i listen to the same music but louder, and maybe i scream the words along with the band. if i'm mad- i don't like to listen to music then. i just want to be alone. and when the music's on, i don't feel like i'm all by myself.


so, i'm going to kind of alter the task for today.

every so often, there are songs that i just absolutely crave. worse than any chocolate or coffee craving. i feel like nothing can go on until i listen to that song. if i have to request it on the radio, fidget with my ipod, burrow through the depths of the center console trying unmarked cd after unmarked cd, or (in times of severe desperation) log onto youtube from my smart phone. yes, i have done this while driving BUT i never WATCH the videos, i just need to hear the songs.


so here the are in no particular order: my heroin songs (note:the song "heroin" is not one of them. but "sweet jane" also by the velvet underground, is.).


1. blitzkrieg bop- the ramones. i feel  like everyone in the world knows this song, and if you don't my heart literally aches for you. or you're amish. and that's cool.


2. sweet jane- velvet underground. it's just awesome. the velvets are awesome. just love it.


3. my own worst enemy- lit. takes me back to middle school every time i hear. and it's still cool. also, fun at karaoke bars.


4. josie- blink 182. see above. also, it's hubby and my song 'cause we love blink and cause it's not sappy and 'cause we're from san diego and ate at sombrero's all the time. we want to name our daughter josie.


5. guns of brixton- the clash. political dissatisfaction, paranoia, ska beats, awesome bass line, synthasizer, and paul simonon singing. what's not love?