camera love.

fact- i love polaroids. who doesn't?
fact- i was devastated when i found my mom's old camera in the garage only to discover the film was no longer being made and cost an arm and a leg.
fact- i found out about the instax mini/polaroid 300 cameras and felt a glimmer of hope in a meaningless world.
fact- i decided the hundred buck price tag was a tad too rich for my blood. when you consider the price of film and all the jazz, it just seemed out of reach for a while.
fact- goodwill has a website where you can shop online, ebay style.
fact- some loser totally donated their polaroid 300 camera! sucka!
fact- it is an amatuer mistake to make your max bid end in a 0.00- i.e. 20.00, 30.00 etc.
fact- i won the puppy with a bid of 21.00.
fact- camera arrived today.
fact- with a giant smile and butterflies in my tummy, i drove as fast as i could to target to get film to see if the camera works.
fact- the camera works.
fact- i am in love with it! already preparing a wall to be dedicated to my instant pics!!

that is cat hair as the camera is resting on a kitty condo. not human hair- i'm not a disgusting pig person.

day eleven.

day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

this will be short and sweet: have babies, bye a house and make it adorable, work in a skilled nursing home and wear vintage dresses to work daily, go to europe, see the pyramids, take a road trip across the us, and possibly- many, many moons from now- earn a ph.d. i'm not a very adventurous person and have no desire to leap off things, jump into anything with a riptide or climb anything higher than the ladder to the top of the ferris wheel at the county fair.

i do, however, constantly think about what the wizard tells the tin man at the end of the wizard of oz: "a heart is not judged by by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others." at the end of my road, i just want to know in my heart i did all i could to bring love into the world and that i shared it with everyone around me.

http://ideologystop.net/Wizard_of_Oz_2.htm

i'd maybe also want to punch a shark. just for the cool story. and i'd get mad respect from my future kids and grandkids.

day ten.

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

i've kinda been avoiding this post on purpose. thing is, if i'm honest it's gonna sound like a cop out.


 basically, i listen to all my favorite music all the time. if i'm happy, i like my favorite music. if i'm sad, i listen to my favorite tunes to perk me up. if i'm bored, i like my favorite music and also dancing to it or trying to figure out how to play it on the bass. if i'm hyped, i listen to the same music but louder, and maybe i scream the words along with the band. if i'm mad- i don't like to listen to music then. i just want to be alone. and when the music's on, i don't feel like i'm all by myself.


so, i'm going to kind of alter the task for today.

every so often, there are songs that i just absolutely crave. worse than any chocolate or coffee craving. i feel like nothing can go on until i listen to that song. if i have to request it on the radio, fidget with my ipod, burrow through the depths of the center console trying unmarked cd after unmarked cd, or (in times of severe desperation) log onto youtube from my smart phone. yes, i have done this while driving BUT i never WATCH the videos, i just need to hear the songs.


so here the are in no particular order: my heroin songs (note:the song "heroin" is not one of them. but "sweet jane" also by the velvet underground, is.).


1. blitzkrieg bop- the ramones. i feel  like everyone in the world knows this song, and if you don't my heart literally aches for you. or you're amish. and that's cool.


2. sweet jane- velvet underground. it's just awesome. the velvets are awesome. just love it.


3. my own worst enemy- lit. takes me back to middle school every time i hear. and it's still cool. also, fun at karaoke bars.


4. josie- blink 182. see above. also, it's hubby and my song 'cause we love blink and cause it's not sappy and 'cause we're from san diego and ate at sombrero's all the time. we want to name our daughter josie.


5. guns of brixton- the clash. political dissatisfaction, paranoia, ska beats, awesome bass line, synthasizer, and paul simonon singing. what's not love?

future.

i've been trying to get more excited about the future lately. it can be really hard to keep motivated for things like school and work when it feels like your life is going nowhere. my cousin, who i'm very close to, became a mommy this week. and while i'm very happy for her, it's a bit of a bummer when the most exciting thing i've done this week is read about hearing loss. to cheer me up, hubby took me out yesterday to the town i want to live in after grad school. it was nice to just explore that community and imagine living there. it was a little vacation for my thoughts.

today, when i went for a walk to the store, i saw this perfect picture. and i bought it. it was frivolous and i don't need it right now- there is nowhere to put it and it doesn't quite go with the style of our apartment. but it is the epitome of how i want our house to look when we buy one. so i bought it as sort of proof to myself that i will be there. eventually.

day nine.

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days

i know it may seem like everything i post around here has to do with school or my future job or something. but this one was a no brainer for me. in the last few days, i've been very proud of my future profession, especially since the (amazing) film, "the king's speech" is everywhere.

picture from imdb.com

the movie is amazing. for one, when's the last time there was a movie about a speech therapist? and two, this is one of the first times in a movie where a stutter is accurately depicted, and not used to imply the character is dumb, evil, or anything other than a person with a difficult time talking.

i'm proud to be going into this field and to hopefully, help others in a way that has a significant impact on their lives.

day eight.

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

making goals in grad school feels like a waste. i always have a million things i'm going to do "after i study" or "after this paper is done." problem is, after i study, there is more studying to do. so my goal for the month is basically just to cross some non-school related things off my to do list.

i'd like to work out more- it's healthy and will boost my energy.

i'd like to stay within my weight watchers points- cause i wanna drop some lbs and cause i paid for it. mostly cause i paid for it.

i'd like to learn a song on the bass hubby got for me when i was on winter break and that i haven't touched since school went back in session.

i'd like to be a better wife- cook more, clean more, and spend more time hanging with the hubs.

and i'd like to get a's on all of my assignments. but that is not a this month goal. that's an always goal.

day seven.

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you

this is a tough one. how do i pick one thing that's had the biggest impact? every person and every experience has lead me on a journey that made me who i am today.


but i'm going to go with:

picture from the westwood college website.

after our freshman years (mine and his, not doing it twice) hubby decided he did not want to continue at the four year school in san diego he was attending. he spoke to his parents and decided to go to westwood college, with a location in anaheim. this meant he was going to move. i had to make a decision: would i stay at my school or transfer to orange county to be with him?

i decided to transfer. but at the last second, hubby couldn't go to westwood. so i moved to anaheim and he stayed in san diego. we were long distance for a semester. and just when we were about to crack from the strain of a long distance relationship, he decided to move to orange county, too- school or no school. we spent the next semester hanging out, going to disneyland constantly, and spending every free second with each other. he got a part time job at a movie theatre (that he hated) and took classes part time at the community college. it was so fun and so exciting, he asked me to marry him. i accepted. duh.

the reason, though, that he wanted to move to the oc for school was that his dream company, the one that he had wanted to work for since he was in the eighth grade, was in the oc. he hated his job, so i knew i had to help him. i sent his resume in for him. and he got the job. the same week he started there, i attended the club fair on campus and met a nice professor, from whom i heard the words "speech-language pathology" from for the first time.

so even though hubby did not attend that college, from it:
-he got his dream job
-i got into the perfect major for me (which was not available at my first college)
-we spent a semester apart (which stinks) that solidified in our minds, and hearts, how much we were meant to be together.
-we moved out of our parents houses and saw that we could do it on our own, proving we could handle being married. if we still lived at home, we probably wouldn't even be married right now
-we started our own life in a city away from every one else we know. we got to make our own path, rely on each other, and be exactly who we want to be.

thanks, westwood college.